Issue 4.1
Winter 2024
BEE LB
Reflection
These poems work the lens of memory as though it were a door. The doorframe a container, the hinge allowing movement from present to past, the door itself both protection and entrapment. The lens of memory shifts in and out of focus. My brother, antagonist. My brother, protector. My brother, imprisoned. My self, antagonist. My self, searching. My self, not free until he is.
memories flicker light over film reel
eight years old, seats folded flat, blankets piled high
in the back of your parents’ van. pillows indented
by three small heads. you imagine you’re in a movie
as colors blur, an endless stream of light bright as
camera flash. night so cold and vibrant you almost
forget you’ve learnt fear. instead, you remember.
you are not in your body
you are in the moment. eyes of wonder.
a scene change you didn’t get direction for.
cut scene, roughly patched.
your father pulling big brother out of the car,
your mother carrying baby brother, and you
rushing to catch up. your little legs can only carry you
so far.
one day these memories approach an accident
and you will pull away. but not yet. his small hands
stretched out, strung by desire. your small body
held taut. somewhere between jealousy and shame.
what you know:
another cutscene you weren’t prepared for.
car packed, leaving the city. you may never come back.
your life will double in size before it’s cut down.
rush of wind through open windows.
your parents’ voices a distant rumble.
waking up vertical while still laying down,
surrounded on all sides by drop-off.
a fear of falling still developing.
BEE LB is an array of letters, bound to impulse; a writer creating delicate connections. they've called any number of places home; currently, a single yellow wall in Michigan. they've been published in FOLIO, Figure 1, and The Offing, among others. their portfolio can be found at twinbrights.carrd.co
BEE LB's Book Recommendations
Felon, Reginald Dwayne Betts.
When My Brother Was an Aztec, Natalie Diaz.
Here is the Night and the Night on the Road, Mónica Gomery.
What About the Rest of Your Life, sung yim.
Prelude to Bruise, Saeed Jones.